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Group Info

This group is for anyone looking for help to recover from their addiction to self-injury.
Group
Founded 7 Years ago
Jul 7, 2010

Location
Global

Group Focus
Support & Cause

53 Members
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DOs and DON’Ts of self injury
I found this on a Facebook group and really loved it so wanted to share it with everyone:

DOs and DON’Ts of Self Injury
01. Don’t ask them why. If they want you to know why, they will tell you. Most of the time they don’t even know why.
02. Sometimes they just need to tell someone, because they fucking need to.
03. Never talk about him/her behind their back. They will find out and they will be pissed. They prefer you to speak directly to them.
04. If you ask them to never self-harm again, and they say “okay”, they’re lying.
05. Never ask them to never self-harm again.
06. Don’t try and understand why they do it. You’re wasting your time.
07. If you don’t know what to do, just ask them “Are you [insert appropriate form of harm here]? Do you need to talk about it?”
08. Get over your own insecurities about worrying if they’ll hate you for asking.
09. Asking shows concern. Not asking shows negligence and an “I really couldn’t care less” attitude.
10. Telling a teacher/parent/counsellor/other friend before talking to the person in question shows “I can’t be fucked working up the courage to ask them myself”. But it’s better than #09.
11. Offering suggestions of other means of coping is pointless.
12. Tell them that you’re there for them. No matter what. And you never judge. And you will always listen. And you will always just be there. And sometimes you never have to say a word at all. Sometimes they don’t want you to say anything.
13. It does not mean they love or enjoy pain.
14. It gives them the right to make fun of themselves/other self harmers.
15. Depending on the situation, it does not give you the right to.
16. Classifying them as “emo” only reduces yourself to an illinformed bitch who believes you’re God’s gift.
17. It is not always a case of attention-seeking. A lot of the time it isn’t.
18. Self harm is a way of coping with emotions. While most people might cry and scream and rant and rage, self-harmers generally don’t express those sorts of emotions openly, and bottle them inside. The only way they know that works of releasing them is by inflicting pain on themselves. Hence the NOT ATTENTION SEEKING.
19. If they wanted attention they would go slit their wrists in the toilets at school and walk out with their clothes soaking in blood, collapse in the middle of the school grounds, and wail.
20. Other people self harm because they’re so emotionally numb on the inside, they need the pain to remind themselves that they’re alive.
21. Others hurt themselves because they believe they deserve it.
22. There are 39846324956234986487562387456238475123518746459865 other reasons for self harm.
23. There is not one direct cause. There is usually a trigger. A trigger may be a picture of a cut. That will get them thinking of cuts. That will get them into the mindset of cutting. And inevitably, they will want to cut.
24. Other triggers include any form of high negative emotion.
25. There is a difference between cutting for release and cutting for addiction.
26. Addiction-cutting is when you used to cut because you needed it, and now you cut because you can’t stop. You have no way of controlling the emotions without cutting. So you cut when you’re angry, sad, depressed, etc. It works. Temporarily. So when the same emotion comes up, they do it again. Only this time it doesn’t work as well. So they do it harder. And etc.
27. They know they shouldn’t do it, it’s no use telling them that.
28. Some of them like their scars, some of them hate them. Some are proud of them, some are ashamed. Just because one likes them and the other doesn’t, does not mean that the one who likes them is “okay” with what they do.
29. The need and want to self-harm rarely goes away.
30. Ask them questions about what they do. If they don’t want to talk about it – don’t push it. But if they do want to talk about it – keep asking questions. Don’t let them do all the talking. Ask questions. Questions are caring. Questions show them that you love them enough to want to know what they do, so you can understand and be there for them as best as you can
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Recover-From-Relapse

SI Stats

Broad estimates are that about one percent of the total U.S. population, or between 2 and 3 million people, exhibit some type of self-abusive behavior. But that number includes those with eating disorders like anorexia, as well as those who self injure. (1)

A 2002 study published in the British Medical Journal estimated that 13 percent of British 15- and 16-year-olds purposely injure themselves. (2)

In the U.S., it's estimated that one in every 200 girls between 13 and 19 years old, or one-half of one percent, cut themselves regularly. Those who cut comprise about 70 percent of teen girls who self injure.

Two of the most alarming facts about teen cutting are these:

the number of cases is on the rise, and
without treatment, many who begin cutting themselves as teens will continue the behavior well into their adult years.
Treatment visits for teens who self injure have doubled over the past three years. And those numbers are expected to grow as life becomes more complex for teenagers. Directors at self-injury treatment programs refer to this growth trend as an epidemic that reaches even into middle schools.

The profile of a typical self-injurer looks like this. She's female in her mid-20's to early 30s, and has been cutting herself since her teens. She's intelligent , middle or upper-middle class, and well educated. She also comes from a home where she was physically and/or sexually abused and has at least one alcoholic parent.

What To Do To Stop A Loved One From Cutting/SI:

Parents who discover their child is cutting typically are shocked and immediately blame themselves for failing as a parent. Therapists say that parental self-blame is NOT helpful.

Remember, cutting is a behavioral sign of a deeper underlying problem. The goal should not be to get your child to "stop cutting," but to treat the deeper problem so your teen develops more mature coping skills and no longer feels the need to self-injure.

Here are some tips for dealing with this serious issue.

Don't

React with anger.
Go into denial about the problem.
Assume this is a "phase" your teen will outgrow.
Say "What did I do wrong as a mother (father) for you to do this to yourself."
Ask "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Try to hide sharp objects. It's an ineffective deterrent. If your child wants to self-injure, she'll find a way.
Do

Admit you and your child need help.
Take the problem very seriously. This is not just attention-seeking behavior.
Be completely supportive.
Immediately seek treatment for your child.
Treatment

If you suspect your teen is cutting, talk to your family physician or your local public health department to find a mental health treatment program that can help.

Parents are cautioned to understand that treatment probably won't simply be a matter of medication and/or a few visits with a therapist. Treatment often includes medication combined with individual and family therapy over a sustained period of time.

Don't assume that your child is "okay" once he's in treatment and making progress. As with treatment for any habitual behavior, setbacks are not uncommon. Some teens report cutting episodes even after a year of therapy, although episodes typically become less and less frequent the longer a teen is in treatment.

If You're a Teen Cutter

Tell somebody - a sibling, a friend, a parent or relative, anyone you can talk to. Overcoming your shame and admitting your problem is often the hardest part of getting help.
Identify what triggers your cutting behavior. This can be difficult to do on your own. You'll probably need a mental health counselor to help you.
Ask for help. Go to your parents, a medical professional, a school counselor, or any adult you trust and tell them you want to stop cutting. If the person you approach downplays your cutting, go ask another adult for help.
Stay with it. Breaking your cutting habit will not be easy. But with treatment, teens who cut themselves can and do successfully learn more healthy way to deal with stress ands negative emotions.

Affiliates

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:icontrauma-and-ptsd: Trauma-and-PTSD Not all wounds are visible :iconcourageously-curvy: Courageously-Curvy Celebrate The Curviness!!! :iconaddiction-awareness: Addiction-awareness :iconpreventsuicide-etc: PreventSuicide-Etc There is always hope. :iconlight-and-hope: Light-and-Hope There is always hope :iconmultiples-of-da: Multiples-of-DA :iconmental-health-aware: Mental-Health-Aware Spreading fact, dispelling myths :iconwe-are-still-human: we-are-still-human All different but still the same :iconshatterthestigma: ShatterTheStigma Illness does not discriminate :iconchildabusesurvivors: childabusesurvivors Forging a new future together.

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Comments


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:icongothicdeathemokitty:
GothicDeathEMOKItty Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
according to wat this says about the sats and the dos and donts my dad dont know what the fuck he is doing
Reply
:iconashleyley92:
Ashleyley92 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for putting "Melted Strawberries" in the featured folder :D
Reply
:iconhedge-of-thorns:
Hedge-of-Thorns Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the stats column. Highly and accurately informative, and even instructional. I don't see that often enough.
Reply
:iconrecover-from-relapse:
Recover-From-Relapse Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010
Exactly. That's a reason I put it up.
Reply
:iconmonteyfreedom:
MonteyFreedom Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010  Student Photographer
thankyou SO much for featuring my piece. It was something very hard to post, but I got the motivation from #TheSecretProject
It means so much to me, thankyou again ^^
Reply
:iconrecover-from-relapse:
Recover-From-Relapse Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010
I am glad you had the courage to post it. I'm glad to have it in our gallery. :heart: You're very welcome.
Reply
:iconmonteyfreedom:
MonteyFreedom Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010  Student Photographer
=3
Reply
:iconcrazylacey:
crazylacey Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2010
hey do you guys know how to stop cutting and stuff because i still do it and i am doing thaerpy but i dont think that is helping.What do i do?
Reply
:iconrecover-from-relapse:
Recover-From-Relapse Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2010
If your therapy now isn't helping maybe try some place else for therapy. Different places have different techiques of dealing with self injury and addiction. You may have to find a center with a different method than what you have. I can also look something up online ( I was going to do this anyway) and send the list of things I find to you. Maybe that would help.
Reply
:iconcrazylacey:
crazylacey Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2010
ok thank you
Reply
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